How To Love Yourself: A Guide For Those Who Don't

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Do you feel like you don't love yourself? You are not alone. Loving yourself can be a challenge and a journey, but it is one worth embarking on. According to a global survey, finding self-love is a tough skill, and over 60% of people wish they had more respect and care for themselves. Being positive about yourself is becoming increasingly difficult, especially when social media platforms promote unhealthy and unrealistic standards of beauty and success — all of which is typically achieved through the clever use of photo filters or photoshop solutions. 

Are you worthy of self-love if you do not meet the expectations of a world based on falsehoods? The answer is yes, but while our mind understands the reasoning, the little voice inside our head disagrees. This strange dichotomy of perspectives coexisting within the same person makes finding the path to self-love challenging. This blog post will explore practical steps to help you learn to love yourself. Let's get started!

RELATED ARTICLE: 7 Tips on How to Invest in Your Appearance And Boost Your Confidence


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A Guide To Learning How To Love Yourself

Accept Your Flaws

The first step to loving yourself is accepting that you are not perfect, and that's okay. If you're honest with yourself, you'll realize that nobody is. Take time each day to focus on one thing about yourself that you wish were different, and then let it go. You can't change what happened yesterday or last year, or even last week, but you can change today by accepting who you are right now instead of obsessing over what could be different about your appearance or personality in the future. 

Focus on being kinder towards others because kindness creates happiness, and happiness creates kindness—it's a virtuous circle!

The Importance of Physical Attractiveness

We all want to look & feel our best. Unfortunately, many of us struggle with self-esteem and often feel like nothing is ever good enough. In reality, we can take control of our physical appearance and make ourselves feel beautiful. Investing in your physical attractiveness is an integral part of feeling good about yourself.

When it comes to physical attractiveness, nothing is truly God-given. We can all change our appearance to improve our looks and feel more confident about ourselves. This could include things like improving your smile, eating a healthier diet, changing your hairstyle, or any other thing that makes you feel attractive.

When you feel that you are not as beautiful or worthy as the people around you, ask yourself this: What am I doing to feel beautiful, and what are they doing in comparison? If the answer is you're doing nothing, it's time to act. Everybody invests time and effort in themselves, and this crucial self-care behavior is why they glow on the outside. 


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Letting Go of Distractors

When it comes to loving yourself, it is essential to identify any distractors that might be preventing you from doing so. The most common distractors are people who constantly criticize and belittle you. These people can cause a lot of damage to your self-esteem and your sense of self-worth. Toxic people can be anything or anyone that takes your attention away from the positive and loving thoughts that should be focused on yourself. 

It's not always easy, but it is important to let go of any relationships that have a negative impact on your mental health. It is vital to remember that no one has the right to make you feel poor about yourself, no matter what their intentions are. You have control of your life and have the right to surround yourself with positive people who will support you on your journey of self-love and acceptance. 

Telling Yourself Something Nice

It is often easy to focus on our flaws and overlook the positive things we do and have. We can boost our confidence and self-esteem by reminding ourselves of our successes and good qualities. There are many ways to go about telling yourself something nice. One way is to write down affirmations and post them around your home or office. Make sure that you choose affirmations that relate to areas where you want to improve or where you already feel successful. A few examples of affirmations include: "I am worthy," "I will succeed," and "I am strong and capable."

Another way to tell yourself something nice is by talking positively to yourself in the mirror. Look yourself in the eye, smile, and tell yourself something encouraging. 

Identifying the Underlying Cause

Many people struggle with self-hatred, depression, and anxiety disorders. It can be difficult to love yourself when your sense of self is constantly under attack. Sometimes, emotions can feel like you are torn apart, and the need for self-love takes the backseat when you are focused only on survival. It can be beneficial to step away from self-help solutions and reach out to professionals, such as a mental health rehab, if your symptoms of depression or anxiety are too severe. There is often an underlying cause to these issues rooted in childhood trauma. The trauma often stems from emotionally immature parents or caregivers who don't know how to provide the support and guidance needed for healthy development. 

This type of childhood trauma can have a lasting impact on our mental health. It can lead to feelings of worthlessness, low self-esteem, and difficulty trusting others. Self-love starts with healing your mental health. Take the time to explore any unresolved traumas that may be holding you back.


Good work! You've made it through the entire guide, and we couldn't be more proud of you. We hope this process has been as beneficial for you as it was for us.

Do you have any other tips for those who are struggling with self-love? Leave a comment below, and let us know what works for you!